Hello my lovely boys, it's been to long since last had contact, what on account of that restraining order.
But let's let gone byes begone me lads, it's Roger, your old manager and I'm back on top me lads and I'm taking you with me.
Now you know I had a little trouble on account of that unsubstantiated Armadillo smuggling operation and I wound up doing some time in a nice upstate US...err....Hotel.
I met this top bloke called Paul something or other, he seems to be well connected me lads, and he promised me if I smuggled some messages out from him that he'd hook us up with some right proper pals in Europe.
Now your old mate Roger loves you so much I stuck those USB right up where the Armadillo goes and when I checked out, I rushed right over to the internet cafe and spoke to a really nice bloke called Yuri.
I'm negotiating a tour right this very minute, they say they're sending some people around to collect me and take me to the embassy.
Now I know we've had our differences of opinion over the years me lads, but I've turned a new fence and all that other stuff is water under the leaf.
Stick with me boys, this tour will put me back on top, and restore your faith in your old mate Roger.
Now darnt worry if some things happen with your social media and the website, my mate Paul has put me onto a specialised agency overseas and they really like the video for Heavy Weather.
Just to show you me good faith, here's a letter me mate Yuri got from his mates in Europe, somewhere near Korea I think he said.
Things are on the up and up me lads, stay staunch.
EDIT: - MJEB here. Roger got in again, so I have tightened security one more time. I ran this letter through a translator, it's in Ukrainian, goes like this:
November 22, 2016
Bourgeois band "Stormcellar"
This is a good video from com. Putin, whom we consider to be good in Ukraine, because he is strong and his pants are also very strong.
This video is so funny and this song is so good that we would like to invite you to Crimea on behalf of the program of cultural ties, where you will be very safe all the time and will not be abducted to bring you to Russia and to explain that this video means
Comrade Putin believes this video is very funny, but we do not know him. He would personally ask you for an autograph. Are you allergic to penicillin?
As a goodwill gesture, our technical department began to work well with the computer. Do not be afraid if the mouse moves by itself. All is well.
Thank you for sending this funny video, and we look forward to hearing from you at the Gulag.
Sincerely Ivan is a non-Russian agent.