Strange are the tales in the Stormcellar.

Bootleg Nick sparked a story last night. Only the names have been changed.


Once upon a time, in a far away land, was a Pub.

And in that pub on Friday nights and Saturdays and Sundays for many years, Sydney bands would play.

Oh how they played.

These were the times when you could hear live music in a venue.

To that venue, a wandering band of Stormcellar Fellers came. They setup their gear and they played.

Oh how they played.

Many was the night where the house was filled. And so the people Danced.

But something was wrong.

The Bar Man was very gruff. Like a Woofy Snarly dog. No matter how polite you were, he would snap and snarl and gruff.

But even the Gruff Barman decided he liked the Cellar Fellers. But not for the reasons we thought.

For a little while, things were great. The band would play, the people would dance. Fun was had.

Of course, the Pub Owner was even Woofier and Gruff Gruff than the Gruff Barman, and one day he told the Cellar Fellers not to come back.

They were sad and asked why.

'Because I don't make any more money when you're there than when the place is empty' says the gruff owner.

Considering the number of people in the photos, the Cellar Fellers were a little surprised, but oh well, that's how it goes, playing in a band.

A little while later, Curly Hair, a wise member of the local tribe, came to tell Mr Wizard the secret. For a long time, a certain Gruff Barman had been ringing up Soda Water every time someone bought a drink. In fact, Gruff Barman had been siphoning off funds for a long time. 

Gruff Barman was especially happy with nights where the bands brought in extra people. Gruff knew how much would pass as normal takings, and anything that was extra was, well, I guess, fair game.

So no matter how hard the bands worked to promote, how many times the room was filled, the pub never made any more money. And so the Pub decided not to have any more bands and another Sydney gig disappeared. Even better, for their own reasons, no action was taken. The pub was sold, renovated and is now a Gastro pub.

The End. (?)


Cheers to Bootleg Nick for the recall of the story :-)