I am listening to a new song from Bill, it's very frickin' soothing. I've got sunlight around me, and a prism on my window is splitting light into patches.

We live perpetual warfare. It's life during war time. 

Sadness, and then guilt for taking a moment to feel happy.

A repeated refrain, a lesson I learned; those in combat want life to go on, they want to know that normal still exists.

The constant stream of violence by human against human is crushing.

This is the human puzzle to solve, not a religious or political or ideological problem, the simple human cycle of hurting one another.

No I haven't gone hippy and mung bean. I accept that we're going to do things that we think are right, for the right reasons, and they will be terrible things.

But don't you think the other side thinks the same?

Are we all mad?

Our heart breaks and mends again and again, from Bataclan to Manchester, for the day to day sadness of losing our mentors, our heroes, our friends and family, and our hope.

And each time, each day, the sun comes up, the clouds blow over. We suffer in the midst of beauty and it makes me weep.

Every quiet moment of solitude, every moment of awareness and gratitude pushes back against that dark envelope.

I have no response except to try and keep making things. Creation against destruction.

We're sad about Manchester.