NOTE: Roger broke into the system again, but thanks to our anti-manager AI platform we were able to intercept it before his article autopublished.
Sadly it looks like something slipped through as I have reports that he did in fact run this ad. Still, we have a sense of humour about these things, so I present Roger's post and his ad.
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Hello me lads, jeez you know you could really do with my help in marketing, underground is one thing, but if a tree falls in a forest then the tills don't ring with the sound of moola, you savvy?
I was right up for sorting you out, like I always do, but me password didnt seem to work again, but i know that's just another misunderstanding. There's a right helpful bloke from Vladivostok who helps me out and he sorted the account.
By the way MJEB your password isn't spankymonkey66 it's now spankymonkey67 and you might want to change that soon before the blokes from Ukraine wake up and realise i haven't paid them.
But don't worry me lads. You know i love me boys and I wont let nuthing separate us, restraining order or otherwise
So I have organised some advertising and a few otrher promotional what noozits and howzats. Don't thank me now, thank me later.
Ten years eh? It seems only yesterday I inserted that management clause into the distribution deal. Oh yes, paragraph 143, page 82, a connection we'll always have, until the court rules otherwise.
Now as I still have a vested interst in you blokes and I like money a very lot, I thought it was time we told the world what you've been up to for the last while.
Not making me any bloody coin that's what.
So let's get to it. It's a good ablum, this bloke you made it with has got a list of credits as long as my list of creditors.
You gotta tell people! It's success by association! Just look at the list!
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(EDIT: redacted by MJEB)
So we start by putting out an ad in the tradies
Your credit card didn't work when I tried to run this anywhere outside sydney so we'll start here but have big plans me lads!
Now the next thing you need to do is run a videoclip for one of the songs. Luckily I found one you already made.
And you need to tell the people about the guests on it, like ***************** and *************.
Tell'em all about the making of it in the states, that always impresses'em. Yeah I know you write it all down in the blog when you is all doing it and so forth but they don't know that they do?
And for the love of mother mcreery, put up a bloody sales page for it!
My boys, I don.t know why you concentrate on making records when you need to spend more time yelling at people to give oyu attention!
It's the new way me lads, like it or not. Take aleaf out of the playbook for the big boys and do something humiliating that you can apologise for! The punters eat it up mate!
Anyway me internet is running out and this nice guard Paco wants his mobile phone back. Congratulations on your 9th album me lads, for the bottom of me heart. You're a plucky bunch of chancers from the cheap streets and you do your old hometown proud.
Now go out there and make me bail.
Love,
Roger.
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EDIT: I don't know how he keeps breaking in but we just haven't had the heart to charge him, those South American jails can be tough and we don't want to add to his troubles. He means well. I think. Maybe he's right. Maybe we get so busy doing the stuff because we can that we forget to...nah stuff it. Cheers Roger, don't let your celly rub your belly.
I gotta go change my password again.