Well I can always hit Unpublish I guess.
Howdy Folks. We're back.
US tour #3 was almost as challenging as US tour #1 and as I sit here managing my jetlag, I wanted to make some notes. Some of which I may delete as I write. How exciting!
Everywhere Feesl Like Home
After 3 trips to the US, it's amazing how quickly we acclimatised to
- ordering food (know what you want, otherwise there well be 800 options per meal and the waiter or 'server' will get the poops with you)
- Driving on the RightHand Side of the road. Weird but ok
- Speeding. In Illinois, 'speed limits' are more of a guideline. I'm not game to speed too much but by the time you keep up with local traffic, you find you're going faster than you intend.
- How nice Americans are about letting you merge/change lanes/ turn at an inconvenient corner. In OZ we'd have much fist waving and 'get stuffed mate' happening. American car behaviour verges on the genteel.
- the space. OZ is roughly as big as the US but we squish together here A la English Fashion.
Other Stuff
QANTAS Screwed us and left us stranded and the ANZ bank weren't as much to blame as I assumed but not innocent either.
I dish it out so I better take it. I have lodged a formal complaint with the ANZ for what I consider a failure of their duty of care and a bloody ridiculous process, that even though they knew we were being screwed, pretty much meant 'oh well, not our problem' - if I had cried FRAUD!! they would have fixed it instantly.
QANTAS have put their hand up and admitted that it was their end that kept billing us. I've also lodged a formal complaint - we got through ok, but this nearly destroyed the tour and raised my stress levels to critical danger zone.
Without jumping up and down about it, I am going to complain as long and as loudly as I can and escalate the crap out of this.
We survived due to the generosity of Friends of the band. Imagine 6 normal travelers on holiday in the US with no funds, no petrol, no accommodation, etc and it taking a week to resolve followed by a repeat of the situation a week later.
Not to mention the actual damage it did to our string of shows.
I might be calm, but I am going to stick with this until the folks involved think 'oh crap it's that one guy again, I kinda wish we'd paid more attention'
Americans don't say no, they just don't say yes
Here's a cultural tip for all you band bookers on tour in the US. When they want you, they say yes immediately. When they don't, they don't say no, they just delay. It's classic 'keep your options open' negotiating.
I had a case where we had 3 offers for the same night where we already had a booking. When I called to confirm the original, booked-in-Australia-before-we-got-there booking, and got a 'call me tomorrow' 3 times I gently explained that we honour our commitments but if he didn't confirm within a reasonable period, I'd take the other offers. This produced a response I can only describe as 'huh?'
For the record, I'm not into bluffing, nor do I muck about. we are 6000 miles from home. Of course, then the bank and Qantas froze our assets and it was a moot point.
There are some truly great acts out there
We played with and watched some people who were Next Level performers. Something to aspire to. Wow.
SUV's Are Awesome and we love Tech
We barely (i mean, with millimeters to spare) fit the band + stage gear into 2 SUv's
Fanging it down the road with your V8 howling and 'Panama' by Van Halen pumping out on your bluetooth enabled soundsystem whilst guided by your GPS and having your ass vibrate everytime you go too near a road marking or when a car's in your blind-spot is awesome. Sorry ecosystem. Did I mention I actually listened to Dennis Leary's 'Asshole' whilst doing it. SO guilty. So fun.
I took a phone, not a laptop
One of our commercial advantages as an act is our nerdcore techness. From Google Maps to Google Calendar, GPS to Facebook, Last Minute discount sites to Tripadvisor, there has never been a time where more data and more help was available if you just use it.
It's tremendously powerful.
I didn't need a laptop this trip, from banking to email, music to guidance, the Phone did it all. Wow.
The Map is not the territory
A three part observation
1 All those 'get a gig ' through this website sites ignore a fundamental. People give you gigs, not wesbites. People make the call. Consider that before shelling out $30 a month to 18 different 'musicians helper' sites
2 If you're an Aussie, esp a Sydneysider, you might get phone calls from o/s mates saying 'OMG you're on fire' when the bushfire/hurricane/floood/shark attack is hundreds of kilometres away. Ditto with 'omg gunz! in the US. Yeah it's an issue to consider and not to be diminished but sometimes it seems like the media wants us to be more afraid than we should be. I'm for 'not shooting each other' and as a result probaly gun control (sorry Roscoe) but it's not the wild west over there.
3. Even though we speak the same language, there are informational protocol differences, politeness differences. Rosie tells me I am more direct with an American than I would be with an Australian, meaning that I have to modify our politeness systems to engage with theirs in the right manner. It's subtle but it's important. They come to the point much faster than we do sometimes and when all else fails, especially when trying to be kind, bluntness is effective. they may simply not understand the sentence construction we use here. All you Queenslanders with a rising tone at the end of your sentences signifying that this statement is now a question know what i mean, dont youooo*
(* upward inflection, it's now a question)
We are lifted up
We're only able to do what we do because we exist in a state of love. Yeah soppy, yeah sentimental but you try not to break down and cry when someone tells you that they'd drop everything and drive to rescue you when you're 6000 miles from home. Its amazing. Its powerful. Ya gotta give it in return.
Thinking so dont make it bad
I love being lyricallty self referential. What fun.But at least I mean what I say.
Our 'disaster' turned into an album. For almost 10 days we were Fixed in Kansas City. not stuck, trapped, just kind of...fixed in place. As if the universe had determined we would go this far and no further.
Holmesy's kindness in allowing us access to his Experimental Acoustic Lab for a week allowed us to knock out 10 songs, including getting two artists who are woefully under-recorded into the studio to do some of their own tracks.
We got a lot done in a short space and some of it's strong.
Dawns upon me now. Sort of. It's a cold, unusual end of winter/spring coldness and dark rainy skies. I can hear aeroplanes landing after noise curfew ceases at 6am. I think kindly of each and every traveler and for today only, forgive their noise. that was me 18 hours ago.
To paraphrase Thich Nhat Hanh, each homecoming gifts us new eyes and everything once is again is fresh and new. We do well the longer we may maintain such vision.
I am profoundly grateful to each and every one of the friends and family of the band and to Michael, Theo, Bill, Jo and Paul.
3 tours in 3 years guys, it's an achievement in itself.
Thank you
MJEB